I can be a GOOOOOOD Aunt
Well this morning, mum got up and put these earrings on,
Then she put this collar on me, cause she says it's for good luck (huh? for what?),
Lastly, she put this collar on STINKY,
and left with STINKY .... WITHOUT ME!!!
Mum and STINKY were away ALLLLLLL day, and came back at around 4:30 pm in the afternoon. I wasn't very happy about being left alone ALLL DAY, but I took one look and one sniff at STINKY and I knew something wasn't quite right....
He didn't smell STEAMY anymore..... and I was sure he left pretty STEAMY this morning! What's more mind boggling was the fact that he didn't even attempt to land shark me.... Honestly, I never thought I would ever complain about him NOT land sharking me, but WHAT THE H$LL WAS WRONG WITH HIM????
And then mum showed me this,
No wonder he didn't smell STEAMY anymore..... his lovelies got detached.... So now he'll always be a STINKY.....
SIGH...
SIGHH....
SIGHHHHHHHHH....
SIGHH....
SIGHHHHHHHHH....
Mum called it "emergency Lovelie-Detachment Surgery" because STINKY peed on 3 people within 10 mins of going to the park last week. (mum: I was planning on waiting until he turned one, but NOPE, that wasn't gonna happen! Can't have him peeing on people!! He had just started to lift his leg around two weeks ago, and he was like a kid on his new bicycle, trying it on everyONE...)
Although I gotta admit, it was pretty good just to have the stinkster back even tho he wasn't STEAMY anymore. I got quite excited seeing him (and mum too I guess) and decided to play a role change for once since STINKY was acting quite um.... un-STINKY like.
(Please note: the energetic one who is throwing the squeaky toy around is the almost 8 year old Aunt. The 9 months old STINKY is the one that is almost non-moving.)
I knew today was STINKY's day to be the center of the attention, to be pampered. He deserved it I guess...... having had to go through the Lovelie-Detachment surgery. However, that didn't stop me from reminding mum this wonderful universe that we live in *should* really revolve around Miss Sunshade aka. The SuperDALE!
(The only reason I was offered "chocolates" was because my EVIL mum knew I HATED chocolates!!)
Anyway, that was my 4 minute of fame for the day...... and it was right back to pampering STINKY.
I kinda felt bad STINKY wasn't feeling well. I would rather have him not land sharking me because he's *ahem* ..mature, but not because he's not feeling good. So, for once I let him sleep on my BIG, PINK bed, while I crammed my tiny little body in his tiny little bed.....
Mum bought comfort food to cook for STINKY so it's easier to digest.
She said he needed the mumpkin paste to keep his bowels regular, yogurt to put good buggies in his intestines.
Mum cooked up the ground chicken in chicken broth, (can you tell she CAN'T cook at all???)
And served a WHOLE plate to STINKY with some mumpkin paste mixed in. (he ate the yogurt separate at a later time as heat kills all the good buggies.)
And well.. I just watched... I was totally neglected, ignored, nobody cared about me. Poor me....
Finally, I couldn't stand it. Even tho mum can't cook, the food still smelled REALLY good and I really wanted some. Since I would never try to take food away from another dog, not even STINKY, so I had to ask mum,
My well trained mum promptly brought me some in my bowl,
But really.... look at how pitiful that teeeeeeny bit of chicken looked in that BIG bowl of mine!!
SHE says I need to watch my weight, but I think this is nothing but a third class treatment here.....
So understandably, after my teeeeeeeeny bowl of chicken, I wanted more, and I asked politely,
Mum's always told me to be polite, and ask politely. Well, GUESS WHAT???
It doesn't work!! She said NOOOO when I asked for more food!
How unfair.... STINKY got a WHOLE plate and I got a teeeeeeeeeny teeeeeeeeeeny bit...
Hey mum, when can I go for my spay surgery again?? (mum: you definitely act like you do need a second surgery sometimes LOL)
After dinner, mum was on her computer, so I - the perfect Aunt, the perfect gurrrl, the perfect DALE let STINKY have MY bed in the computer room while I got the thin little fleece blankie on the terribly hard carpeted floor. (mum: no, not a drama queen at all!)
At bed time, mum decided to put a pair of my PINK pants on STINKY so he wouldn't lick on his incisions.
STINKY didn't look too pleased at all, in fact, he looked kinda embarrassed. I have had to wear those panties periodically over the last 7 years, so I would know. Anyway, I thought I would be a good Aunt all the way today so I put on a pair of pants too just so STINKY would feel a little bit better.
What a good Aunt I am.... I'm so proud of myself,
(mum: Sunshade, the truth please, the TRUTH!)
OKAY... FINE.... The reason why I wore those pants was because I had a hot spot on my back that's super duper itchy, and because it's super duper itchy, I lick and chew, chew and lick. So EVIL mum put those pants on me to cover up my hot spot.
This is my super duper itchy face, and yet not being able to do anything about being super duper itchy because one - the spot is covered up, two - EVIL mum is there watching like a hawk.
Why I got those hot spots?? Well, that's another story for another time.
Anywayzzz... the point of this whole post is, seeing the way STINKY was pampered after his Lovelie-Detachment surgery (which permanently stinkified him, I might add), I think I want to be spayed again!!
You can read STINKY's Lovelie-Detachment Day in detail (some graphic scenes) on his blog.
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peeks at the MUSCLE BUTT
