I'm not FAT, I'm PHAT

I got my much needed acupuncture treatment today. I haven't gone to see my Aunty Janice for a while because I had the K-laser therapy done at my rehab center and mum wanted to give it time to kick in. However, it was time for me to see MY Aunty Janice!!


As usual, I was sound asleep as soon as the first needle went in my head. My Aunty Janice specializes in acupuncture, and she found the acu-points for my L2 vertebrate to be sensitive. That's the same region as my Iliopsoas muscle. It's interesting how my rehab vet (specializes in muscles, etc) noticed a muscle strain, whereas my Aunty Janice noticed a L2 sensitivity. I guess you pick out problems from whatever it is that you specialize in.


STINKY came too cause mum wanted to have some kind of computer chip put in him.


I have one in me already, and mum wanted one in him as well in case he ever gets lost. I don't get it, why wasn't my tag for him good enough??? I mean, he would never get lost with this tag on him!


Also, can someone PLEASE tell me why he needs a computer chip if he is going to Taiwan??? UNLESS....... Oh no... no unlesses!

Now, the BIG news: I, Miss Sunshade, the SuperDALE weighs, as of today....

69.8 lbs!!!!!

Let me tell you, I weighed 60-62 lbs (my optimal weight) before my EVIL mum STOPPED letting me play off-leash, STOPPED taking me to MY SPAW for swims, and started doing the boring, short leash walks due to my muscle strain. No matter how hard I tried to convince her I was fine (some of you even agreed with me), she still wouldn't let me play off leash. Now that I weigh almost 70 lbs, she calls me a "fat fat girl"!!!!!

She says all that extra weight is not good for my joints, and that I move slower than before. That's suppose to be my fault??? I'm not the one stopping myself from playing off-leash or swimming you know mum!!!!!!

Even my Aunty Janice said I looked good, NOT FAT!!!! (mum: Dr. Crook is forever traumatized by the time when Sunshade dropped to 52 lbs (skin and bones), so she prefers Sunshade to be more beefy.)

My EVIL mum is thinking of cutting my fooooooooooood down, and I'm about to go NUTS here! I've been putting up with STINKY's 3-4 meals per day regime for I don't know how long now, I get two meals a day, period. I don't get to eat nearly as much as he does (I eat 500g of RMB's a day whereas STINKY eats 1200g), and now she wants to cut my little bit of fooooooooood down to even littler bit?????

I had to do something about it, so I went and collected some evidence just to prove to mum that I'm NOT FAT!


I am NOT FAT because......

I'm agile. I can duck the land shark attacks no problem.


I have great facial reflexes (it would be slower if I were FAT!) (mum: according to her that is)


See how fast I squinted when I saw the land shark coming?? This is my face from the picture above. Will you just look at that reflex!!



I'm NOT FAT....

I'm just BIG boned, with lots of muscle. You all know that muscles are more dense than flabs, so muscles weigh more.


No, I'm not an Oorang Airedale, I'm your regular sized Airedale measuring 24" at the withers. I am again, just BIG boned with a super deep chest, and yea ok.. built like a male... but NOT FAT!


I am NOT FAT because......

I only have one chin!!! Front view,


Side view,


(mum: hey, what's that flab under your chin??)


I am NOT FAT because.......

I have a perfect figure. Just look at my waist line!



I am NOT FAT because.......

I'm flat, just like the ground when I lie on my side. See, I'm so flat, you can almost mistaken me as the ground.



I am NOT FAT.......

These are not flabs, they are called,


Here, you want a better view at my breasts??


(mum: no, I'm totally not laughing at the location of your "breasts".)

THERE!!

I am NOT FAT, I am,

PRETTY

HOT

And

TEMPTING

That makes me PHAT not FAT!!!

(Thanks Texas, I just learned that from you at the flirt..er I mean, chat session!)


Anyway, all that evidence collecting made me really warm. I remembered Maggie and Mitch had ice cream the other day, so I reminded mum that maybe STINKY and I should get ice cream too.


Mum got two scoops, one for me, one for STINKY. I got to choose first because I'm the alpha, and guess what my EVIL mum did?? She got one REGULAR vanilla, and the other one - NON-FAT vanilla yogurt!!!

(NON-FAT on the left, REGULAR on the right)

My EVIL mum kept telling me I should eat the NON-FAT one even tho I obviously preferred the FAT one!! See how I stopped licking the NON-FAT one after a few licks?? Watch her moving her hand, placing the NON-FAT one in front of me!!!

GEEEEEZUS mum!

Fortunately, I did get the FAT one as I had wished,


STINKY got the NON-FAT one because he wasn't as picky as me, he loved the NON-FAT one.


Ice Cream beard!!!